Latest news with #TavistockRelationships
The Irish Sun
2 days ago
- The Irish Sun
My partner was seen sneaking out of male co-worker's hotel room – is she cheating?
DEAR DEIDRE: AT a work conference, my partner was seen sneaking out of her male friend's hotel room. Now the rumours about them are frying my brain. She denies anything is going on, but my gut is telling me otherwise. I've been cheated on before so this is bringing back a lot of bad memories. Now, I'm so insecure and paranoid, I no longer know what to believe. My partner and I have been together for five years and have two children. We're both in our early forties. We met at work. I've since moved on to another job but she's still in the company. Over the past year, she has been acting very off with me — distant and moody. She hasn't wanted sex, and whenever I try to give her a cuddle, she pushes me away. I couldn't help noticing she was spending a lot of time with a male colleague. They were always on the phone in the evenings, or having Zoom calls. When I questioned this, she told me they were working on an important project. Then she had to go off to a conference. While she was away, I phoned her so the kids could say goodnight. She didn't answer. I was so worried, I called a friend, who was also at the conference. He said he'd seen her earlier, at dinner. The male colleague was there too. Cheating and can you get over it When she came home, I confronted her. She claimed her phone had accidentally been on silent. That's very unlike her. Since then, my friend has told me he's heard rumours that my partner was seen coming out of her colleague's hotel room. He also says there's gossip about them at work. Before I met my partner, I had a long-term girlfriend who left me for someone she worked with. I can't bear the thought of history repeating itself. I'm trying to keep sane and act normally for the children, but I'm struggling. Please help. DEIDRE SAYS: Your gut is telling you your partner is cheating. And the rumours aren't helping. Your previous experience is also feeding into your anxiety. Nothing can be resolved unless you talk to your partner. Rather than confronting her about her colleague, tell her you are worried about your relationship and want to make it better – for your children's sake too. Ask her to be honest. It may be that your relationship has no future, but at least you'll know and can work out what to do. My support pack, Looking After Your Relationship, should help. Also think about having relationship counselling. To find out more, contact Tavistock Relationships ( Get in touch with Deidre Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays. Send an email to deardeidre@ You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page. THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME DEAL WITH BRATTY KIDS DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN I became concerned about my brother's children, who were turning into little brats, I didn't know what to do. They swore like troopers and had no boundaries. I wanted to say something, but I didn't want to create a rift. I'm 47 and my brother is 44. He and his wife have three children, aged between six and ten. Although they've always been loving parents, they didn't moderate their language, and the kids repeated what they heard. They also had terrible table manners and threw food around. You understood my concerns but reminded me I'm an auntie, not their parent, and recommended a gentle approach – asking my brother if he was worried, and telling the kids not to say inappropriate things at my house, rather than criticising my brother's parenting style. You also recommended I contact (0808 800 2222) and read your support pack, Standing Up For Yourself. Using the techniques in the pack, I asked my brother if he was worried about his children swearing. He was annoyed for a while but things are back to normal and I've noticed he and his wife have now been swearing less. Thank you. DEIDRE SAYS: I'm so glad you were able to tackle this. What you said clearly had an impact. Hopefully he'll keep his children's positive development in mind in the future. Penis size makes me worried something is wrong DEARF DEIDRE: MY penis looks so small – like half of it is still inside me. I'm worried it's a micropenis. Recently I've also been finding it difficult to get an erection, and I'm worried something is wrong. I'm a 48-year-old single man, and I'm overweight, with a big 'beer belly', even though I don't drink beer. I've been trying to lose weight, and exercising by riding a bicycle. But when I sit on the saddle, it feels like I'm sitting on my penis. Although I've never been well-endowed, until recently I didn't think I was abnormally small down there. Is it possible to develop a micropenis as you age? It's been several years since I was involved with a woman. I'd quite like to have a relationship again. How can I even think about this when my penis is so tiny and doesn't work? This isn't something I can ask anyone about, as it's so embarrassing. What do I do? DEIDRE SAYS: You can't develop a micropenis, you're born with it. What's more likely is that your tummy is now hanging down over your penis, and also obscuring your view. You may also have more fat around your pubic area, which is why it feels uncomfortable when you cycle. It's admirable you're trying to lose weight. But it's a good idea for you to see your GP to get more help with this. Also please talk about your erection issues, as these can be a symptom of other health problems. My support packs, Solving Erection Problems, and Weight Worries, have more information about these issues. WORRIED SHE'S TURNING HIM INTO A MUMMY'S BOY DEAR DEIDRE: I'M very concerned that my sister and my nephew are far too close. They spend all their time together, and rely on each other for everything. They're more like partners than mother and son. I don't think this is normal for a teenage boy and his mum, and I'm worried. I'm 45 and my sister is 43. She's a single mum to a 14-year-old boy. His dad ran off when he was a toddler and has had no contact with him since. I used to think my sister was a great mum, totally devoted to her son. But lately, I've realised her relationship with him isn't healthy. They do everything together and she is fiercely protective of him. He should be out with his friends, becoming independent, even rebelling. Instead, he stays in with her. She calls him 'the man of the house', But he's just a kid. I fear he's never going to be able to leave home and live his own life. My sister has already said she doesn't ever want him to have a girlfriend. She's scared she'll lose him. I know if I say anything, she won't take it well. She'll probably blow up or stop talking to me. But for my nephew's sake, I feel I have to intervene. DEIDRE SAYS: It does sound like your sister has turned her son into a surrogate partner – and that isn't healthy. She may not mean to, but she's behaving selfishly, smothering him and stunting his development. He probably doesn't realise his mum is using him to meet her needs, but It's a form of emotional abuse. She needs to create boundaries – however she'll need support from you, and possibly a professional, to do this. Intervening is tricky. Before you say anything, consider talking in confidence to the NSPCC's helpline ( 0808 800 5000). You can remain anonymous. My support pack, Standing Up For Yourself, should help you to have a calm conversation with her.
Scottish Sun
01-07-2025
- Scottish Sun
I went through boyfriend's phone and found explicit texts to another woman – how do I regain trust in him?
DEAR DEIDRE: ONE question confirmed what my instincts had told me about my boyfriend – that something was off. Completely out of the blue, he asked if I would ever be in an open relationship. When I questioned why he'd asked me, he claimed he had seen something on social media and wondered what I thought about it. Suspicious, I asked to check his phone, and he immediately became defensive. I am 33 and my boyfriend is 35. We have been together for 12 years and have two children, who are aged ten and nine. A couple of days after he'd asked me about an open relationship, I finally had the opportunity to go through his phone — and found explicit texts sent to another woman. He had clearly met up with her but when I confronted him, he said it had been so brief, it was hardly worth mentioning. Now I'm questioning everything. He won't take responsibility for anything and when I pushed for more answers, he got up and went to a friend's house for the evening. He obviously went to delete all the evidence, which was on social media. When he came home all the messages had disappeared. But he had forgotten to purge his email and I found he had also signed up to a dating site. I created a fake profile and found his. It stated he lived in a shared house and implied he was single. Relationships, jealousy and envy While I am trying my best to get past this and build trust, because he has deleted everything, there is more to this than meets the eye. His betrayal has really hurt me. I am struggling to move past this. How do I regain trust in him? DEIDRE SAYS: Discovering that your partner has cheated can feel like your world has imploded. He is trying to downplay his betrayal but don't let him off the hook. This has deeply hurt you and unless he faces up to his disloyal behaviour, it will be impossible for you to genuinely move on. You still love him, so tell him how you feel and ask him to work on your relationship together. My support pack Cheating, Can you Get Over It? can help. Couple's counselling would also be very helpful but he has to be open and honest about what he did in order for you to be able to move on. Find a counsellor at Tavistock Relationships ( 020 7380 1975). Get in touch with Deidre Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays. Send an email to deardeidre@ You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page. IT'S SO HARD TO COPE WITH DAUGHTER'S MELTDOWNS DEAR DEIDRE: My daughter is showing signs of autism and is on a waiting list to be assessed. I am struggling to cope with the angry outbursts which happen randomly. I am her 35-year-old mum and she is ten. Recently I took her to the doctor, who suggested she might be autistic. This came like a bolt out of the blue. She has had a few behavioural problems, but it didn't really cross my mind that she might be autistic. I love her but sometimes I feel so helpless. My partner, her dad, left us when my daughter was five. When she has a meltdown I struggle because I can't get through to her at all. She can be so difficult, but she is OK at school. My parents work and live miles away. The lack of sleep is making me impatient, and I feel so guilty and a failure. DEIDRE SAYS: You're not a failure. You're doing your best. A diagnosis of autism can come as a shock to most parents at first, and as a single parent you will feel particularly alone, with no one to share it with. When she has a meltdown, stay calm and keep her safe. You can't always prevent meltdowns but letting her wear headphones to listen to calming music, turning down lights, and distraction techniques such as focus toys, may help her. Also, see the National Autistic Society's website for information and support ( I PICKED WRONG EX, NOW I'M ALONE DEAR DEIDRE: LEAVING my girlfriend to get back with my ex-wife has backfired. When I arrived on her doorstep, my ex-wife's face fell and she bluntly told me she had 'company'. She told me there is no chance for us in her mind. I'm 59, she is 57 and we have got two grown-up sons. We grew apart and got into a rut. When I split up with her originally, she was very upset but I stuck to my guns. I moved on quickly and met my girlfriend. She's 54. Things were great between us. But one day we'd both had too much to drink and had a silly fall-out. She kept going on that I still loved my ex-wife. I think I started to believe it. Still, I was so annoyed with my then girlfriend I didn't even bother to try to put things right. Eventually she told me I had given her no choice but to end our relationship. Now my ex-wife won't even have me. I feel like a total fool. DEIDRE SAYS: Being rejected is painful but your ex sounds as though her mind is made up. If she's unwilling to mend things, it's best you try to move on. When either relationship hit challenges you were quick to walk away. If you are going to build a healthy relationship in the future it's important to learn to work through differences. That way you learn from each other. My pack Mend Your Broken Heart will help. DRINKING HABIT RUINING MY LIFE DEAR DEIDRE: WHILE I am not dependent on alcohol, I go on binges that can last up to four days at a time. During them, I don't eat or look after myself. I have been like this since I was 20. I am 35 now. Not a weekend goes by where I don't get completely obliterated with cider or wine. I drink to the point where I black out and have big memory-loss gaps. It is destroying both my physical and mental health. After saying some nasty things to my family while drunk, I have fallen out with them. Despite the fact I didn't mean any of it, they won't forgive me. I am feeling so isolated. Recently I moved to the north of England from Wales and don't know anyone, so I drink to try to make myself feel better and to numb how I am feeling. As I am relatively new to this area, I don't have a GP I can discuss this with. Alcohol also makes me very impulsive. I have little recollection of the things I have done when I come out of a binge. I would love to get sober. I understand the negative impact alcohol has on me but at the same time, it helps me numb the bad way I feel at times. But it is slowly destroying me as a person. DEIDRE SAYS: Now that you have recognised you have a problem, you can really get the support you need. Binge-drinking is particularly dangerous, as you are at risk of a serious accident as well as alcohol poisoning. Find a GP in your area as soon as you can and please be assured there is a lot of help available. We Are With You can assist you with taking your first steps to a healthier and happier lifestyle ( My pack on drinking gives more information and details of other organisations to turn to.
Scottish Sun
27-06-2025
- Lifestyle
- Scottish Sun
My sexless marriage is pushing me into an affair with another woman – I didn't sign up to be celibate
I'd be willing to compromise and have sex even just once a week - but she won't consider it DEAR DEIDRE My sexless marriage is pushing me into an affair with another woman – I didn't sign up to be celibate Click to share on X/Twitter (Opens in new window) Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife's total lack of interest in sex is pushing me into an affair with another woman. I have tried talking to her about it, but she just told me to buy myself a male sex toy if I felt that frustrated. I've tried everything to make her want me again. I didn't sign up to be celibate, so is it wrong for me to look elsewhere for sexual fulfilment? I'm 42 and my wife is 44. We've been married for 15 years and have three children. We always had a healthy, regular sex life. But since our last child was born three years ago, there has not been any intimacy at all. She says she has no desire for sex and thinks our only focus should be on the kids. When I try to be affectionate in bed, she pushes me away, turns over and goes to sleep. The problem is, I still have a very high sex drive. I think about sex all the time, so I feel constantly rejected and frustrated. I don't want a best friend and co-parent I live with. I want a wife and a lover. I'd be willing to compromise and have sex even just once a week — as I've told her — but she won't consider it. I've never cheated on her and I don't want to leave her for another woman. But her refusal to have sex is making me start to think about straying. Dear Deidre: Understanding why your man's gone off sex When I mentioned this was where my brain was going, hoping it might push her into dealing with our problem, she just changed the subject. Recently, I've been going online and talking to another woman. She's also in an unhappy relationship and has made it clear her sex drive almost certainly matches mine. I'm now on the brink of arranging a time and a place to meet her. I can't stop fantasising about it. Would it be so wrong? DEIDRE SAYS: Sexual intimacy is an important part of marriage. It's unsurprising that your wife's lack of desire is making you unhappy. She may be content to 'shut up shop', but she seems to be in denial about the effect this is having on you. That's unfair. This doesn't mean an affair is a good idea, or a solution. It will only cause many more problems. It's your wife you want. So before jumping into bed with someone else, ask her if she'd agree to counselling so you can talk openly and honestly and try to find ways to resolve this. Contact Tavistock Relationships ( to make an appointment. If she won't agree to discuss this, then you need to think about whether your marriage has a future. Get in touch with Deidre Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays. Send an email to deardeidre@ You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page. THANK YOU ON LEAVING ALCOHOLIC HUBBY DEAR DEIDRE: YEARS of being in an unhappy marriage with an alcoholic had left me depressed, lonely and with no hope for the future, so I wrote to you. All I had in my life was work, but because I had to pay for everything, my salary was gone before I knew it. My husband had driven all our friends away. We'd been married for 25 years. I'm 50 and he's 53. I tried talking to him about it, but he didn't listen. He clearly had no interest in me, only in his bottles of wine. As I blamed myself for being in this mess, I felt I couldn't burden my family with my woes. You were so sympathetic and understanding, reassuring me that the situation was not my fault. You advised me to see my GP and to reach out to my family and old friends, saying they would want to hear from me and that I needed human connections in order to change things. You also sent me your support pack, Dealing With A Problem Drinker. Finally, you gently suggested I might need to think about exiting my marriage. I've started saving up so I can eventually leave, and I've joined some local groups to make friends. Thank you, Deidre, for making me see I deserve better and have a future. DEIDRE SAYS: I'm so glad you're no longer resigned to a life of misery. I hope things continue to get better for you. TEENAGE TROUBLES DEAR DEIDRE: I HAVE a huge crush on a boy in the year above me at school. I know I love him, but there are so many prettier girls in his class, I don't think he'll ever feel the same. I'm 13 and he's nearly 15. Sometimes, I tell myself he's flirting with me but, really, I think he's just being friendly. I can't talk to anyone about this. My friends would tease me. I think about him so much, I can't concentrate at school. What should I do? DEIDRE SAYS: Crushes are very normal, so you have no need to feel embarrassed. It's best to get to know him as a friend and take things slowly. If you have common interests, perhaps you could casually suggest going to the cinema or grabbing a soft drink together. My support pack, Learning To Love, will tell you more about developing a relationship. TOXIC MOTHER HARMING MY KIDS LIKE SHE DID WITH ME DEAR DEIDRE: IS it time for me to cut my toxic mother out of my life for good? She has always bullied me and her behaviour is now affecting my kids, too. Last time we visited, she kicked us out of her house! I'm 38 and have three young children. My own childhood was miserable because she was so cruel. She made me feel useless, stupid and ugly. My older sister, on the other hand, could do no wrong. I left home at 16 because I couldn't stand it any more, and I've been independent ever since. But I've tried to maintain a relationship with her. I guess I'm always hoping she'll see I'm a good person who has made a success of my life and start being kinder. I'm jealous of my friends who have good, loving relationships with their mums. Last weekend, I took my children to visit her for her birthday. We made an effort to look nice and brought gifts. Within a few hours, she was being nasty, making racist remarks – one of my kids is mixed race – and had my youngest in tears. When I finally stood up to her, she threw us out of her house, saying we were trash. I've realised she is evil and will never change. I don't want her to destroy my children's self-esteem the way she destroyed mine. Would it be wrong for me to break off contact for good? DEIDRE SAYS: You've tried again and again to win your mother's love and respect. In return, she's treated you – and now your kids – appallingly. None of this is your fault. You're a strong, capable woman, in spite of her. Perhaps it's time to accept she won't change and that you'll never have the relationship you crave. Talking to a counsellor about this may help you to make a decision. My support pack, How Counselling Can Help, explains further. Get more advice from Family Action ( 0808 802 6666).
Scottish Sun
19-06-2025
- Lifestyle
- Scottish Sun
I'm having a baby with new boyfriend – but he abandoned me then got woman I loathe pregnant
We had a huge blowout about us moving in together and he stormed out — no goodbye, no explanation DEAR DEIDRE I'm having a baby with new boyfriend – but he abandoned me then got woman I loathe pregnant Click to share on X/Twitter (Opens in new window) Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) DEAR DEIDRE: DISCOVERING I was pregnant by my new boyfriend was a welcome surprise and I really embraced the idea of becoming a mum. However, he has really shown his true colours by abandoning me and also getting a woman I loathe pregnant at the same time. Sign up for Scottish Sun newsletter Sign up I'm 36 and have always longed for a baby. I previously tried for years with a previous partner and even went through IVF on my own, but fertility issues left me with little hope. So I was delighted to discover that I am expecting. My boyfriend is 39 and we'd only been seeing each other a short while, but it didn't take long before the excitement set in. And I really thought we had a future together. Then we had a huge blowout because he was being evasive about us moving in together, and I said he would need to share the load of having a newborn. He stormed out — no goodbye, no explanation, he just vanished, leaving me to face everything alone. I was heartbroken. Just as I was beginning to feel excited about the baby again, he got in touch and dropped a bombshell. He'd got another woman pregnant. She's someone I've never liked. We share mutual friends, and she's always been sly — copying me, making passive-aggressive digs, even trying it on with an ex of mine. We've had our fair share of drama and arguments over the years. Now I feel betrayed all over again. I know technically we weren't together, but he knew how I felt about her. He says he wants to be involved with our baby and step up. But how can I trust him, especially when he's having a child with her too? Dear Deidre: Spotting the signs your partner is cheating DEIDRE SAYS: This is a lot to process, especially after everything you've been through to become a mum. Your ex didn't cheat but it's the emotional betrayal and timing that's so painful. Unprotected sex with someone he knows you dislike, so soon after leaving you, feels like a slap in the face. Does having him involved feel supportive or stressful? You have every right to set boundaries that protect your peace and wellbeing. Co-parenting is possible without rekindling a relationship. Talking to a therapist can help you decide what's best for you. Tavistock Relationships ( 020 7380 1960) can help. Get in touch with Deidre Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays. Send an email to deardeidre@ You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page. GIRL MATE IS SINGLE AGAIN AND I WANT TO MAKE A MOVE DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER years of hiding my feelings, the girl I've always fancied is suddenly single – and now I'm wondering what I should do next. The last thing I want to do is overstep, but I'm terrified if I don't make a move I'll be stuck in the friendzone forever. I'm 27, she's 26, and we've always been close, but I never thought she saw me that way. She was with her boyfriend for a long time, so I kept my feelings to myself and stayed just friends. However, she's recently broken up with him, and I'm not sure what to do. I want to make my feelings known, but I'm worried she might just be looking for a rebound, and I don't want to be the one who gets hurt or used. At the same time, I don't want to wait too long and miss my chance. How do I tell her how I feel? I feel anxious even thinking about it. DEIDRE SAYS: It's normal to worry about being seen as a rebound, especially after someone has just left a long-term relationship. Take things slowly and be a supportive friend first. It's likely she'll probably need some time to heal. When the moment feels right, be honest about your feelings without putting pressure on her. While you can't guarantee that she will reciprocate, being genuine and patient gives you the best chance of building something meaningful. SCARED TO LEAVE ABUSIVE PARTNER DEAR DEIDRE: FOR years, I've been trapped in a toxic relationship with a man who controls every part of my life – emotionally, verbally and financially. Now I finally have the means to leave, I'm terrified. I'm 38, he's 42, we've been together over a decade and have two children. The last few years have been a living nightmare. He constantly puts me down, isolates me from friends, and lashes out in anger that sometimes get physical. I spend every day walking on eggshells, terrified of setting him off. I've wanted to leave so many times, but I've had no money, no support network. But recently, my grandmother passed away and left me an inheritance. It's not life-changing, but it's enough to get out. I feel paralysed by fear. What if I can't manage on my own? I want a better life for my children, but I don't know how to take that first step. Help. DEIDRE SAYS: You've shown incredible strength by surviving this long, and now you have a real chance to break free. It's normal to feel scared, but staying may cause more harm in the long run. Reach out to Women's Aid ( or call the National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247, who can help you plan your next steps safely. I'm sending you my pack, Abusive Partner?, which offers further support. PAL IN LOVE WITH A SEX OFFENDER DEAR DEIDRE: MY best friend has fallen head over heels for a convicted sex offender, and I'm terrified she's putting love before her child's safety. We are both 37 and have been friends since school. I've always known her to be a great mum to her ten-year-old daughter. But now I'm questioning her judgement. She met this man online about six months ago. Not long into dating, he told her he had a conviction for a sex offence that happened 'years ago'. He claims it was a misunderstanding and that he's a changed man. She believes him completely. Her family and I have tried to warn her to be careful, especially with her daughter at home, but she says we're being judgmental and that she knows him better than anyone. Now he's moved in with them, and I can't shake the feeling that something's not right. Should I leave her to trust her instincts, or is my sense of duty to protect that little girl the right path? I feel torn. What should I do? DEIDRE SAYS: You're right to trust your instincts – when it comes to a child's safety, it's always better to be cautious. It's deeply worrying that your friend is ignoring your concerns. While people can change, sex offences are serious and not to be dismissed. You need to have a very frank conversation with your friend. Explain, firmly but compassionately, that while you love and care for her, you're extremely worried about her daughter's well- being. Let her know this isn't about judging her relationship but about protecting a child. If, after that, she still refuses to listen, you may need to consider raising a safeguarding concern with your local children's services. I'm sending you my pack, Worried A Child's At Risk?, which has further advice and resources.
Scottish Sun
19-06-2025
- General
- Scottish Sun
When I found myself caught up in a double life, you helped me find a way out
Struggling reader thanks Dear Deidre team after finding himself tangled in a double life - scroll down to see how YOU can submit any problem to our team THANK YOU When I found myself caught up in a double life, you helped me find a way out Click to share on X/Twitter (Opens in new window) Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) DEAR DEIDRE: THANK you for helping me untangle the double life that was destroying me bit by bit. When I first wrote to you, I was 45 and completely exhausted. Sign up for Scottish Sun newsletter Sign up I was juggling two lives – one with my girlfriend and our two young sons during the week and another with my wife and daughter every other weekend. Neither woman knew about the other. To outsiders, I seemed like a man with a demanding job in the city, balancing family and work. The truth was far messier. My wife, who I'd been married to for 15 years, came from a culture where divorce is heavily stigmatised. We hoped having a child would fix things between us, but it didn't. Years of unhappiness led me to take a job over 200 miles away. That's when I met my girlfriend online. She had everything that my marriage lacked – she was warm, funny, and kind. When she became pregnant, I made the choice to live with her. But I never properly ended my old life. I didn't know how to. By the time I reached out to you, I had two little boys I adored, a woman I loved, and a growing mountain of lies. My daughter, then nearly 10, was starting to ask questions. I barely slept. I was snapping at everyone and hated the man I'd become. You made it clear these secrets couldn't last forever and that my children deserved to hear the truth from me – not find it out in ways that would break their trust. You also reminded me that staying in a toxic marriage wasn't helping anyone. Dear Deidre: Cheating and can you get over it You encouraged me to come clean with my wife and get support. I contacted a counsellor through Tavistock Relationships ( 020 7380 1960) who helped us navigate the transition. With your advice, I stopped spiralling. I found a way forward that considered everyone's wellbeing – not just my guilt. My wife and I began the process of separation and have now officially divorced. It was painful, but also freeing. Your support pack Worried About Mum and Dad helped me talk to my daughter and protect our relationship through the changes. After years of stress and deception, I finally feel like I've become the father and man I want to be – to all my children. I still have a long road ahead, but at least I'm no longer living a lie. Thank you. DEIDRE SAYS: I'm so glad you reached out and shared your story. Living a double life can be incredibly stressful, but by opening up, you took the crucial first step toward honesty and healing. Your situation is one many people find themselves in, especially when cultural pressures make separation feel impossible. Keeping secrets often causes more harm than good, especially for children, who pick up on tensions even when adults try to hide them. By choosing to be honest and seeking support, you've given your children and yourself a chance at healthier, happier, more trusting relationships. Your story also highlights why it's so important to face difficult truths sooner rather than later. Avoiding the conversation might feel easier at the time, but it only prolongs the pain and uncertainty for everyone involved. Open communication, even when it's hard, lays the groundwork for healing and rebuilding trust within families and relationships. There is no perfect way to end something, but there is a responsible one, and you've now started down that path.
