
Nushrratt Bharuccha says she chose to not learn cooking after seeing mother in the kitchen: ‘Microwave me bhi khaana banaungi toh…'
So, by default, the Chhorii 2 actor 'didn't want to learn'. 'I don't know how to cook. Microwave me bhi khaana banaungi toh jala dungi…(Even if I heat it in the microwave, I will burn it). Zero skill sets in the kitchen. And I chose it,' she told Hauterrfly.
While it does work for her, Dr Chandni Tugnait, psychotherapist, director, Gateway of Healing, said that it's important to reflect on the deeper value of life skills, such as cooking, that often get overlooked.
She also mentioned that, more than the gendered aspect, acquiring life skills like cooking isn't just about practicality; it's about empowering yourself. Gaining independence in managing basic tasks can reduce stress, boost self-worth, and provide a sense of control over your life, stressed Dr Tugnait.
'Being able to care for oneself by preparing meals boosts self-esteem and confidence and reduces dependence on others. This develops emotional resilience and creates a sense of autonomy, essential for mental well-being,' said Dr Tugnait.
She also mentioned that learning practical skills like cooking promotes mindfulness and serves as an outlet for stress. 'It encourages creativity, patience, and problem-solving, which positively impact emotional health,' said Dr Tugnait.
However, to each her own. Dr Tugnait emphasised that while choosing not to be limited to the kitchen is a mindful choice, it is essential to be open to learning basic skills so that you can take care of your needs.

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Indian Express
3 days ago
- Indian Express
Nushrratt Bharuccha says she chose to not learn cooking after seeing mother in the kitchen: ‘Microwave me bhi khaana banaungi toh…'
Nushrratt Bharuccha has been quite vocal about her life and choices. While growing up in a liberal household, she consciously chose not to conform to society's expectation of a girl knowing how to cook. In a recent conversation, Bharuccha, 39, shared, 'While growing up, I don't think I have ever had any of those things that I have had to question, fight, or break. The maximum I am telling you is about cooking. Mom is a housewife. So, I have seen my mom in the kitchen all my life. And subconsciously, it was imprinted in my mind that if I learn how to cook, then I would be limited to the kitchen. Not out of anything else, but out of basic things that she makes good tea, make one more cup. Can you make today's food?' So, by default, the Chhorii 2 actor 'didn't want to learn'. 'I don't know how to cook. Microwave me bhi khaana banaungi toh jala dungi…(Even if I heat it in the microwave, I will burn it). Zero skill sets in the kitchen. And I chose it,' she told Hauterrfly. While it does work for her, Dr Chandni Tugnait, psychotherapist, director, Gateway of Healing, said that it's important to reflect on the deeper value of life skills, such as cooking, that often get overlooked. She also mentioned that, more than the gendered aspect, acquiring life skills like cooking isn't just about practicality; it's about empowering yourself. Gaining independence in managing basic tasks can reduce stress, boost self-worth, and provide a sense of control over your life, stressed Dr Tugnait. 'Being able to care for oneself by preparing meals boosts self-esteem and confidence and reduces dependence on others. This develops emotional resilience and creates a sense of autonomy, essential for mental well-being,' said Dr Tugnait. She also mentioned that learning practical skills like cooking promotes mindfulness and serves as an outlet for stress. 'It encourages creativity, patience, and problem-solving, which positively impact emotional health,' said Dr Tugnait. However, to each her own. Dr Tugnait emphasised that while choosing not to be limited to the kitchen is a mindful choice, it is essential to be open to learning basic skills so that you can take care of your needs.


India Today
27-06-2025
- India Today
We take pride in being like our mothers, but some legacies need letting go
On one really tiring Sunday, past midnight, when I should've been in bed, I found myself in the kitchen, wrapping up after the guests had left. It was a Sunday evening, yet I couldn't bring myself to refuse visiting relatives. And despite my husband's insistence, I refused to order dinner from outside. I slogged through it, wasted my Sunday, and there I was, still in the kitchen, feeling obnoxiously drained, already dreading the start of another didn't think much of it until I came across a post by an acquaintance on Mother's Day that read: 'I am a lot like my mother, but I'm not proud of it.' It was a simple post, yet it struck a chord. She talked about how certain behaviours were ingrained in her by her mother, things she now knows she doesn't want to pass on to her own children. She wrote, 'It's not that she was bad or that we were deprived in any way. But it was her conditioning that I couldn't, or rather, trying hard to unlearn.'That post stayed with me. It made me reflect on my own conditioning, as a child, as a woman. Everything I've learned, from kitchen chores to balancing home and work, has my mother's influence woven through it. Including the automatic, almost compulsive instinct to serve home-cooked food whenever guests arrive. Is it also possible that behind that resilience was a woman who was tired, angry, lonely, but too dignified to say it out loud? (Photo: Generative AI) advertisement The writer wasn't vilifying her mother. She was simply questioning the legacy, the conditioning. And it made me wonder: how many of us are doing the exact same thing? Passing on the same quiet sacrifices with a ribbon of duty and love wrapped around them.'Many women grew up watching their mothers equate sacrifice with strength,' says Dr Chandni Tugnait, psychotherapist and founder of Gateway of Healing. 'They watched them hold families together, suppress emotions, stretch themselves thin, and somewhere, they absorbed the idea that this is what it means to be a good woman.'We often celebrate this as resilience. And to be fair, it is. But is it also possible that behind that resilience was a woman who was tired, angry, lonely, but too dignified to say it out loud?Absy Sam, a counselling psychologist based in Mumbai, opens up about this tug-of-war with honesty. 'My mother was a superwoman, a medical officer, a community teacher, a mother who did it all. But in doing it all, she lost bits of herself. I saw her take care of everyone's health but never really prioritise her own. That's one legacy I'm consciously breaking. I do not want to be a mom who has it all. I want to be a mom who is whole.'advertisementDr Tugnait calls it the myth of the 'one perfect role.' Sridevi in a still from English Vinglish. (Photo: IMDb) 'Women were expected to be caregivers, peacemakers, and perfectionists. But life doesn't need one mask; it needs authenticity. It needs women to know they're allowed to be soft and assertive. Nurturing and angry. Devoted and ambitious.'The hardest part? The most of us, stepping away from how our mothers conditioned us to be could feel like betrayal, even if it is for our survival. We struggle to separate gratitude from obligation. As Dr Chandni puts it, 'Gratitude says, 'I see you, I thank you, and now I'll walk my own way.' Obligation whispers, 'You owe her your choices.' But when we confuse the two, we end up living a life we didn't choose, out of love, yes, but also out of fear.'Anusree Sen, 58, is a Kolkata-based teacher born in the mid-60s as the fifth daughter in a traditional Indian family. She recalls how her own mother, despite being modern and educated, still couldn't support her fully when it came to big life was selected for a job in Delhi after a diploma from NIIT, a big deal back in 1990, but I was married off instead. Later, when I had a chance to work night shifts in a corporate job, I was asked to let it go for the sake of the family.' And yet, she adds, her mother's views evolved over time. 'As she saw how the world was changing, she encouraged us to let our daughters fly. Today, mine is pursuing a PhD in Sonipat, and I'm proud she has that freedom, and I also take pride in the fact that I let go of certain conditioning.'For Absy, the journey hasn't been about rejecting her mother, it's been about reclaiming what feels right. 'My mom taught me communication, consent, empathy; these are gifts I cherish and pass on to my daughter. But I'm also learning to say no, to rest, to not please everyone. I want my daughter to see that strength doesn't come from silence. It comes from boundaries.'advertisementThere's beauty in recognising both, what to hold on to, and what to let go what many might wonder is: what about the men, the sons of the household? Shouldn't they also reflect on the legacies passed down by their mothers?The answer lies in recognising that simply watching their mothers endure everything, and assuming that's how it should be — is where the problem a telling scene in the underrated film Akaash Vani (directed by Luv Ranjan), where Sunny Singh's character, Ravi, expects his wife to serve him dinner and do the 'needful' after he returns from work, even when she tells him she's in excruciating menstrual pain. His response? 'Humne apni maa ko toh kabhi kehte nahi suna ki woh down hain, isliye khaana khud lena padega.' (We never heard our mother say she was 'down,' so we had to get our own food.) A still from Akaash Vani. (Photo: YouTube) And that's exactly what men can unlearn. They should make sure, just because their mothers went through it, the story doesn't have to be repeated for their wives or perhaps maybe, just maybe, one day our daughters and sons will say, 'I'm a lot like my mother. And I'm proud, not because she did it all, but because she chose what mattered. And she chose herself too.'- EndsMust Watch


Indian Express
15-05-2025
- Indian Express
All about Yutori, the Japanese concept to avoid burnout, and balance work, self-care
The Japanese concept of Yutori is like an antidote to the pressures of fast-paced modern life. Deeply rooted in Japanese culture, Yutori refers to the concept of creating mental and physical space for relaxation, reflection, and a more balanced approach to life. 'It encourages slowing down, reducing the constant rush, and making room for both productivity and peace,' said Dr Chandni Tugnait, psychotherapist, founder and director, Gateway of Healing. The idea centers around how the lack of mental or physical space can lead to stress, burnout, and diminished well-being. 'This concept, which has its origins in education and work environments, has grown to encompass broader aspects of life, suggesting that individuals should create breathing room in their schedules, not only for work but also for self-care, creativity, and moments of leisure. It is a response to the hustle culture that often prioritises efficiency over well-being,' said Dr Tugnait. Yutori serves as a reminder of the importance of balance. Dr Tugnait asserted that yutori is not just about slowing down; it's about creating an environment where both work and personal life can coexist harmoniously. With technology and connectivity creating an always-on environment, the need for space to recharge, reflect, and rejuvenate has never been more critical. Dr Tugnait said that the current global atmosphere of constant change and high expectations makes the concept of Yutori highly relevant, especially for those seeking emotional and mental equilibrium. Here are a few ways to adapt Yutori into daily life: Cultivate non-productive time: Schedule moments where you do nothing at all, allowing your mind and body to reset without any task-driven expectations. Reframe time as a flow: View your day as a natural flow, balancing effort and ease, rather than focusing solely on completing tasks. Create zero-pressure zones: Designate areas in your home or life where there is no expectation of productivity, zones that exist solely for relaxation or creativity. Curate social interactions: Prioritise meaningful relationships that replenish you emotionally, rather than filling your schedule with obligations. By adapting the concept of Yutori, we can cultivate a lifestyle that values quality over quantity, calmness over chaos, and mindful living over mindless productivity.